Attention Females! Attention Women's Magazines! Attention Trendy Insecure Gals! Here are the hot new trends on the NYC streets (or trends I'm just discovering due to the fact I can't afford cable):
1. Jewel Hand Implants
What I confused as a large diamond earring stuck on this woman's palm of her hand, it was in fact an implant. How do I know this? I asked her.
"Wow that's fun"
"Thanks"
"How does that stay on"? (Figuring it was a leftover Halloween sticky from the Britney Spears Stomach Jewel Tatoo Collection)
"It's an Implant"
Ok. I have no idea how much that thing costs, can we sing OVERPRICED? No matter how much it costs it's overpriced. Why? WHY I ask? You are 45 years old. AND THAT IS STUPID NO MATTER WHAT LINE OF WORK YOU DO.
2. Eyelash Extensions
This trendy city girl orders from me and I notice her long eyelashes. I comment on them. She thanks me and says that they are extensions.
"How does that work"
"Well they individually attach these extensions to each eyelash and it looks natural"
(as i notice the creases and how easily I can see where the extensions begin)
"Wow"
"Yea they last about a month"
Hmmm. I don't want to ruin or loose any more of my white girl eyelashes. Nor do I want to run into the risk of theses falsies falling off onto my face. GOD FORBID someone finds out I'm not perfect!!!
I can't imagine my brother and his friends talking over beers about how long her eyelashes were. This is such a glissue (I dubbed this GIRL---ISSUE)! Things females notice and care about that guys couldn't give 2 shits about.
I'm perfectly fine with my Cover Girl mascara thank you!
1. Jewel Hand Implants
What I confused as a large diamond earring stuck on this woman's palm of her hand, it was in fact an implant. How do I know this? I asked her.
"Wow that's fun"
"Thanks"
"How does that stay on"? (Figuring it was a leftover Halloween sticky from the Britney Spears Stomach Jewel Tatoo Collection)
"It's an Implant"
Ok. I have no idea how much that thing costs, can we sing OVERPRICED? No matter how much it costs it's overpriced. Why? WHY I ask? You are 45 years old. AND THAT IS STUPID NO MATTER WHAT LINE OF WORK YOU DO.
2. Eyelash Extensions
This trendy city girl orders from me and I notice her long eyelashes. I comment on them. She thanks me and says that they are extensions.
"How does that work"
"Well they individually attach these extensions to each eyelash and it looks natural"
(as i notice the creases and how easily I can see where the extensions begin)
"Wow"
"Yea they last about a month"
Hmmm. I don't want to ruin or loose any more of my white girl eyelashes. Nor do I want to run into the risk of theses falsies falling off onto my face. GOD FORBID someone finds out I'm not perfect!!!
I can't imagine my brother and his friends talking over beers about how long her eyelashes were. This is such a glissue (I dubbed this GIRL---ISSUE)! Things females notice and care about that guys couldn't give 2 shits about.
I'm perfectly fine with my Cover Girl mascara thank you!
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