I was once told during an on camera workshop that curly haired people are looked at like we are crazy. Really? hmmmmm.
I recently was watching an important television documentary episode of "Millionaire Matchmaker" "where she told a prospective girlfriend or wife of picky and not attractive loser millionaire that she usually doesn't pick curly haired women. Oh because we are too exotic. I get it!
I'm not taking what the matchmaker says to heart. Like no curly haired woman will ever get a boyfriend or married, WRONG. But it does shed light on the topic of Curly Hair and how society forces us to straighten or out of control, crazy awesome locks.
I am obsessed with Mad Men and shrieked during Season 3 when Don Draper told his current mistress, Sally's teacher that he loved her curly hair. "Nobody wears it curly anymore". The ironic thing was this mistress was crazy and I hated her.
Of course I can relate to Carrie Bradshaw because we are blessed with waves that change with humidity. Not that my hair at all resembles Sarah Jessica Parker's curls but she's famous and wears it curly! Carrie likened her hair to that of a wild horse (you might vomited a little just then), you can't tame it. She also pulled out a Barbara Streisand comparison from The Way We WTere. I personally loved to hate Babs' do in A Star is Born. It was bozo fro meets 80's mullet set in the 70's. FAIL! I did love A Star is Born and memorized the soundtrack in middle school.
Are curly haired people not taken professionally? Is my hair going to actually hurt me in a job interview?
"Lauren you are so qualified for the job/role but we aren't hiring/casting you because we don't believe this position/character would have wavy hair" - Jerk Casting Director/Jerk Boss
"But we can straighten it" - I plead
"it's too late" -Asshole Casting Director/Asshole Boss
What's with the scare tactics that curly hair will prevent you from getting a gig or job. Can they not use their pea brain imaginations to picture what I would look like with straight boring hair? I think back in the "olden days" Shakespearean heroines and villains didn't straighten their hair with $150 chi or irons. They didn't have magazines telling them how to do their hair. They had royalty, which probably consisted of lots of cool do's with braids and crowns.
Maybe they view us as lazy? Just because we let our hair naturally dry. Keeping our hair healthy and air drying versus frying the shit out of it daily is what will get me a job.
I keep my hair curly because it suits my personality and I feel like a freak with straight hair. A. I don't straighten it right B.Only my hair gal Angela straightens it right. So once every few months my hair is straightened by a pro.
My hair is like me: I little out there, sometimes crazy verging on multi personalities, fun, bubbly and awesome.
I love to tease my younger sister Ashley about her "lead orphan" role in our Travis Ranch Elementary School production of ANNIE, anytime she makes passive aggressive comments like "please, you're the actress" when referring to public speaking or helping me with lines or what not, I bring up her illustrious history as a young Hollywood actress.
Ashely Van Kurin had an agent at the ripe age of 6 or 7. She was a lead orphan named Kate, I think was her name in Annie . She wasn't THE lead orphan but one of the lead orphans with a speaking part. She was the orphans that puts the mouse down Miss Hannigan's dress. She had more lines that the other 50 orphans in the play that were cast just so their PTA mother's can see their daughter in a play.
*My older sister, Kristin and I joke when we were in another classic TRMS production Peter Pan, how hilarious it was we were in the pact of what felt like 200 Indians in the Tiger Lilly clan. Mom made our beaded fringed Indian outfits, we didn't have speaking parts! That is love.
Back to our little actress, Ashley was the 6 of spades in another TRMS production of Alice and Wonderland. No lines. But that didn't stop her!
She had a gorgeous photo shoot at Yorba Regional Park with local male model Patrick Echolds for Eli Lilly (our dad's small company).
Then it happened.
She landed a commercial. SHE HAS A FUCKING COMMERCIAL!
My poor sister. My poor 2nd year vet school sister. This ancient artifact of a commercial gets dusted out of our VHS tape cabinet. (We have a few tapes just incase. Some old high school basketball, talent shows, Kristin's 13th birthday party gem of a video, Heidi-the one with shirley temple and christmas vacation).
This THRIFTY Drugstore commercial gets viewed anytime a new boyfriend of hers or old/new friend comes over. Usually it's around Christmas or Thanksgiving. Conveniently it's what the commercial is about. Wrapping paper. And she fucking nails it.
*sidenote Thrifty had the best ice cream in the world called Chocolate Malted Crunch. Then stupid Rite Aid took it over.
This entry would only be better if I had the video of the commercial to post, since I'm building it up. So use your brains humans.
Just picture this...
You hear jingle bells, not the song but real jingle bells and some sort of holiday card backdrop. A virginal elder boy of 8 or 9 and a young Elizabeth Taylor meets Sandra Bullock of 7 years young appears on screen. Her pure brunette locks are curled, ready for the camera. Side part and all. Ashley starts the commercial with-
"So tell me what you're getting me for Christmas"-in a beat you can't get out of your head. We've all made fun of this line so much it's forever tattooed into my brain.
"It's a secret" he blurts out.
"If I do guess I get a kiss"- well well well, kinda riskay Thrifty Drugstore! Ash playing the young temptress. This is my favorite line. I butcher it, on purpose. In my own satirical, harsh bad impression.
Then the adult voice comes on talking up wrapping paper. He talks about how much wrapping paper the elder virginal kid is using.
"For my present"-Ashley boldly states. My second favorite line from the commercial.
The camera cuts to the kids, where we get Ashley in her famous tongue in cheek (LITERALLY) pose. Then boy reveals what he got her for Christmas.
The big secret, a doll house.
"OOOOooo a dollhouse" Ashley sweetly squeaks.
"kiss her" the kid says.
It's really a cute ad. How Ash puts up with us doing things like this I'm not sure except I can only say is because she knows how much we love her and how proud we are of her.
You have to be a strong person to deal with the jokes and verbal abuse we give each other. But it's because we are all so damn close. The Van Kurin family is a tight unit. We are a lucky family because our parents still love each other after almost 40 years. Us kids are best friends, we talk all the time, joke all the time, laugh all the time. Because of that, we can get away with sharing to the world a wonderful embarrassing to some, story of how a young actress became an animal Doctor! I didn't get her a present because I don't plan ahead that it will get to her wrapped in time, like my older sister. So I hope this little story can do until I see you in person!
If you know me, you know I might refer to movies or movie characters in conversation often. Yet somehow I still maintain friendships. I had a moment Friday night when I was hanging out with some of my favorite people in the world Aaron Heeter and Anna Weber and their cool friend Tara (I think, I'm terrible with names) when I felt myself realize how annoying I could be to someone just meeting me.
You know when you meet people sometimes you are a more composed, more polite, more intelligent, more politically correct version of yourself...This wasn't one of those nights. If you've ever had a Fernando's margarita you know. If you have had 2, you really know.
*(This is for another story but Anna and I actually had 2 pitchers one long terrible night. We survived but both got sick as shit. Anna walked home from Wrightwood and Clark to Altgeld and Ashland, rape free).
I could hear myself naturally referring to Mickey Rooney in "National Velvet" or the Zac Attack band from "Saved by the bell". One friend commented that I have a movie photographic memory. It's not true, I just love movies. My point is, if you want to get in with me or my family go to the movies. We all refer to them!
I was teenage obsessed with the movie “Ever After” in high school. The marketing campaign targeted young romantics like me in Seventeen Magazine with its postcards from the movie, Stills of Drew Barrymore’s character in the rain reading “Overcome” or “Breathe”. This kind of crap I would tear out of the magazine and post on my walls. Eventually my entire wall in my bedroom was covered with old movie stars, movie posters new and old, and newspaper clippings. My parents let me do this; it was my one rebellion that was actually artwork or rather decoupage-ing.
Back to “Ever After” the sort of feminist retelling of Cinderella starring Drew Barrymore as Danielle Dubarberak. This movie is supposed to take place in France. What is with the English accents? Why not just set it in England and make up that there could be a prince Henry as hot and annoying as Dougray Scott. If they were trying to be historically accurate, they failed on many fronts.
Because I’ve seen this movie 93 times I feel it important to tell you line’s my sisters and I love quoting and why we enjoy this annoying habit. Let me also add, I'm not going to "cheat" by going to imdb or google these quotes. I like to do this from memory, even if they are inaccurate. I'm sure the names are spelled wrong as well, since I'm in the B- class of spellers in America.
“The Prince has read Utopia” – proves you don’t have to like the same books your boyfriend does.
“My father was an excellent swordsman” –really? We never see him with a sword, teaching you about swords or you even with a sword. He also dies when you are 8. You remember those skills?
“The shoes are too small” – we suffered for fashion even back in the olden days
“A bird can love a fish but where will they live”- interracial dating debate was sparked here.
“I shall try”- you’ll try? How about say yes or no to the Prince. The indecisiveness kills me.
“Why did you have to be so wonderful”- he’s so wonderful because he stole your idea to open up a university? Oh right she got some action.
“I can still whip you”- even at the end of the movie she’s still flirting inappropriately with her questionable as to if he is gay or straight friend Gustav.
“I will not yield”-he’s such a winey, spoiled baby the audio sounds weird here.
“Ohh and I want to invite the gypsies to the ball”-they are fun partying thieves!
“How dare you raise your voice to a lady”-all us girls are in love, he saves the girl.
“Yes and I found it dull and boring”-he is very opinionated
“It is your mouth that has me memorized”-VOMIT!!!
“And the name is Henry if you don’t mind”-now he’s a comedian
“Looking bored, Buying margaritte a broach” best quote in the movie as far as I am concerned.
“No one will be looking at your shoes, you look down to no one” except the servant you are going to buy back. Hello Gustav she’s playing a courtesan which I thought were classy whores back in the day.
“Think Danielle, your father’s book or your mother’s shoes” – pick the shoes you already read the book!
This is a gesture she does, not a quote- After Danielle’s father falls off his horse Madam runs out of the house then puts the back of her hand to her mouth, it is SO FORCED! I LOVE IT!
“I love our little intrigues, any other little tidbits” –great use of tidbits
“Needs to draw some attention”-what accent is she doing here?
I loved the show Felicity. At least the first couple seasons before she (SHOCKER) cut her hair. As if that made her a different person or something. It grows back, she needed a change. My sister Kristin and I love that she worked at Dean and Deluca!